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schoenheit
Card: [SR] (Just as Planned) Owen
Event: N/A ( Initial / Main Story )
Characters: Bradley, Owen
Chapter One ✧ Chapter Two ✧ Training Episode
Chapter One
Location: Manor Courtyard (Day)
(Sound of footsteps)
Bradley: (Ugh, damn. It's fuckin' cold today. Keep feelin' like I'm gonna sneeze.)
(But like hell am I gonna let myself get blasted away again.)
Nngh...!
Damnit! Not again! Ahh... ahh... ahhhhhhhh ch....!
—Shit! That was close!
Tch. No way can I enjoy a nice 'n' peaceful walk like this...
???: You're suffering so much from such a pathetic wound... How sad.
Bradley: !? —Who's there!?
Owen: (Blows air)
Bradley: Asshole! Don't blow air into my ear—
—Ah... ahh... ahhh choo!!!
(Disappears)
Owen: There you go. Now you have nothing to worry about. Well... Not that he can hear me anymore. Ahaha.
Ahhh... The look on a person's face the moment they realize all their efforts have come to naught in one, single instant— It's truly the best...
... Oh, looks like he wasn't blown as far away as I thought he'd be.
???: Owen! You son of a bitch...!!
(Sound of wind)
Owen: Welcome home. Guess I should've broken your broom, first.
Bradley: You blew air into my ear on purpose!
Owen: I was just freeing you. Though, it would've been pretty funny if you'd ended up landing in a crater of swirling magma.
Bradley: Oh yeah? If you love magma that much, want me to beat you into a fuckin' volcano? Huh!?
Owen: Ahaha, do you want to try?
Chapter Two
Owen: Ahaha, do you want to try?
But... If you do kill me, what do you think will happen to you next?
You've worked so hard to get this parole... Won't they take it away from you, just like that? Or, perhaps... they'll just throw you back into jail. Heyyy... Bradley... What do you think?
Bradley: ... You asshole. What, you really think I won't lay a hand on you so long as we're in the manor?
Owen: ... Wonderful. Seeing your face frothing with rage... That really gets me excited.
Bradley: Yeah? Then bring it. I'm gonna smash in that smug little grin of yours...!
Owen: But first— Why don't I give you a little tip?
Bradley: ... Yeah? A tip, huh?
Owen: Yes, as an apology for accidentally angering you... as fun as I'm sure it'd be to fight you to the death here.
Bradley: Hah! The hell, it took you this long to start pissin' your pants?
Owen: You can stop yourself from sneezing just by looking into a bright light. The sun, for example.
Bradley: You serious? The sun?
Owen: Mmhm. Just stare at the sun... Yes, just like tha—
Bradley: ... Ahhhh choo!!
(Disappears)
Owen: ... Oops, I had it backwards. Light actually triggers sneezes, not stops them.[1]
Hahaha... I hope you ended up somewhere funny this time, Bradley.
Training Episode: Retaliation
Location: Owen's Room
Akira: Owen, you're always saying terrible things to other people and trying to scare them, right?
Owen: What a cruel accusation... Do you think my feelings can't be hurt?
Akira: Huh? Ah...
Owen: You go around acting as if you're a saint, but you're nothing more than a cruel-hearted villain. You ought to realize just how much of a hypocrite you are. Because, I know for a fact... that I'm not the only one who's been hurt by you; who's grit their teeth in silence; who so deeply resents you.
Akira: ......
Owen: Ahaha, you should see the look on your face! Is that the kind of thing you were talking about when you said I say cruel things and try to scare people?
Akira: I'm so sorry. You're right, I... I wasn't thinking about your feelings at all, either...
Owen: Listen, that part was just me joking. It's fine, so stop being so depressed.
Akira: But...
Owen: Look, I said it's fine, didn't I? What were you getting at, anyway?
Akira: Ah... Umm... Well, I was just wondering... You make people feel uncomfortable on purpose, and you try to make them angry, but has anyone ever tried to get back at you for that?
Owen: "Get back at you for that"?
Akira: Like, when you cross a line and make someone too angry, so they retaliate, for instance.
Owen: Nope, never. Because I'm strong. And Oz and Mithra are the only two people who could retaliate, but they have bricks for brains, so they just stare stupidly no matter what I say.
Akira: I see...
Owen: But... There was a time I did try to make Mithra cry, and he killed me.
Since then, I've avoided saying that name.
Akira: What name?
Owen: The name of a witch who died. I don't really know how to bring her up without getting killed, and I don't want to get killed every time I try, so I just don't say it.
Translation Notes
1. Sneezing when you look into a bright light is a real reflex. ↑
Thank you dotsuitarehompo @ Twitter for the raws!
